Posted on April 7, 2025

By Don Hawkins, D. Min.

When you think of the relationship between grandparents and grandchildren, the typical things that come to mind are giving them wise advice which they may or may not heed, spoiling them with special gifts, especially at Christmas or birthdays, and having them for occasional overnights or taking them on road trips.

But according to a recent study carried out at North Dakota State University, slightly more than 7 million grandparents are living with at least one grandchild under age 18, and one in 10 American children, a total of 7.5 million, are living in a household with at least one grandparent. Furthermore, roughly 32.7% of grandparents living with their grandchildren under age 18 are responsible for their day-to-day care.

There are a variety of reasons for this, including unstable home life, lack of finances, parental substance abuse or mental illness, premature parental death, military deployment of parents, or the youth or inexperience of young parents.

The Impact of Raising a Grandchild

While grandparents are typically quite influential in the lives of their grandchildren, several factors come into play when grandparents wind up assuming the role of a parent for their grandson or granddaughter assuming the parental role will require major adjustments in terms of time, finances and other factors. The stress of resuming parental responsibilities at a later age can lead to anxiety and other health issues.

Grandparents involved in raising their grandchildren may experience a greater sense of purpose in their later years because of their caretaking responsibilities.

Rodney and Beth Love have invested their lives in ministry. They met while serving with Josh McDowell Ministries in Eastern Europe, and God blessed their marriage with two daughters, and eventually with two grandsons.

“When our grandsons were born, we were thrilled to welcome them into our family,” Beth began our conversation. “Our relationship with both of them has been great ever since they were old enough to realize who we were. From their earliest years they frequently came to spend the night with us.”

Rodney added, “I was excited about my new role as a grandfather.” Beth added, “When they were born, it was love at first sight, or maybe I should say love before first sight.”

The Boys Move In: A Rewarding Experience

Through a sequence of events in September 2021, the size of Rodney and Beth’s family doubled overnight when their two grandsons came to live with them.

As we talked about this major life transition, both Rodney and Beth looked at it as a positive. Beth pointed out, “For me the greatest reward is when at the end of the day one or both of them look up at us and say, ‘Mimi I love you,’ or ‘Poppy, I love you.’ We don’t tell them to say that. It just seems to come naturally to them. And we know that all grandchildren don’t do that.

Rodney, who is known for being an optimist, added, “They seem assured in their hearts that Mimi and Poppy are going to take care of them, and that’s what you want -- for your children and grandchildren to feel secure in your love.”

“I especially enjoy watching them grow, and seeing how they have come to love God, and love church,” Rodney says. “I love it when people at church or elsewhere will tell us how well-behaved they are,” Rodney said.

Beth noted, “For the last three years our oldest grandson has won an award in Bible drills, and we are really proud of him for that. There are times when they come home from church and start discussing something they heard in Sunday School. Or they will even ask, ‘Mimi will you pray about this’ or ‘Poppy would you pray with us for this?’

Top Priority

Rodney and Beth both agreed on their biggest priority. Beth explained, “I would say that the biggest thing we can give our grandchildren is to lead them to faith in Jesus, and to teach them how to bring their needs and concerns to the Lord in prayer. We also want them to know that if we pray, something will definitely happen.”

Rodney elaborated, “About three years ago our oldest grandson gave his heart to Jesus, and the younger one has been talking about it. So far he hasn’t made the commitment, but I believe he is close.”

Cultivating a feeling of security in the hearts of each grandson and practicing kindness towards others are also priorities, as Beth explained. “We want our boys to know how much we love them, and for them to feel secure in our love. They are continuing to learn more and more about Jesus, and we are teaching them to practice kindness toward others. My daily slogan with them is, ‘kind and gentle.’”

Rodney mentioned a challenge faced by grandparents who have added the parenting responsibility is to keep an active lifestyle.”

“You’re trying to meet their needs while at the same time keeping everything else going. And sometimes your mind will tell you you’re young, but your body will remind you that you are not as young as you used to be. In the springtime the boys are out there playing nonstop. And they want me to play with them, but I can’t keep going as hard as I used to,” Rodney admits.

Financial and Health Responsibilities

When grandparents take on the responsibility of raising grandchildren, they typically assume responsibility for meeting their financial needs and seeing that their medical needs are met. Beth commented on this:

“We have been very blessed. They’ve been extremely healthy, just the occasional cold or allergy problems. We have never had to take either of them to the emergency room or the hospital.”

Rodney addressed the added cost of a four-person household. “We take it a day at a time, a month at a time, a year at a time. We know that the Lord is with us and will provide for us, and that’s what we tell the boys. We do not have to worry about today or tomorrow, because God’s Word tells us that he will take care of us.”

Beth added, “Rodney and I have shared with the boys how Jesus explained in Matthew 6 that God takes care of the birds of the air and the lilies of the field. They never worry about things like food, because God provides for them. And since He is our heavenly father, we can be assured that He will take care of us. It has been a delight to see how he has provided for our every need.”

“One way we are especially blessed is that we have a number of friends who are a part of the boys lives,” Rodney said. “ For example, on Saturday nights, our oldest grandson accompanies me to our radio program, Encouragement Live, and actually plays a part in taking the names of callers to the program host. He can’t wait to go to the broadcast every Saturday night, because he enjoys being around the radio team.”

Rodney continues: “I believe every grandparent who finds themselves in this parenting situation should invite Christian friends to be a part of the lives of their grandchildren, because they will provide additional motivation toward the grandsons and granddaughters becoming men and women of God.“

Education and Discipline

Beth made the decision to take on homeschooling the boys. “I can tell you, homeschooling them is not the easiest thing in the world. Our older grandson seems more motivated toward his studies, but there are days that he’d rather be doing something else. So, I have to remind him, at times firmly, when it’s time to begin school. I also have to let him know that ‘I’m always your Mimi. But when we’re sitting here at the table doing our studies, I am your teacher. You need to look at me that way, because I will be treating you as my student.’ But overall, he is a very good student, and I guess I can brag on him about that.”

“It’s a little more difficult with our youngest because at his age he’d rather play.”

Discipline can represent a significant challenge for the parenting grandparent, as Beth explained. ”It can be a challenge just to get their attention at times. And it’s not always easy. The other night for the first time our grandson, who is seven, when I told him something he needed to do replied, ‘you’re not my mother, you’re my Mimi!’ “I responded, ‘you’re right. I am your Mimi. I’m not your mother. But you live here with Poppy and me, and because of that, you are going to have to listen and do what we say. And that’s just how it is.”

Grandcoaching

After a while in the yard playing with the boys. pulling them on a pallet with wheels, Rodney rejoined our conversation, somewhat out of breath.

Several years ago, Rodney founded the Master Life Coach Training Institute to provide individuals with life coaching skills. MLCTI created a website, www.grandcoaching.org, to help grandparents utilize life coaching skills in their relationships with grandsons and granddaughters. When asked how he and Beth had implemented those life coaching skills with their grandsons, Rodney replied:

“First of all, we’re not perfect at this. It’s always a great challenge to implement these things with your own family. One thing we do is look for opportunities to ask them cultivating questions. For example, when our oldest and I are in the car together I may ask him about what he is learning in his schooling or at church, or about things he has expressed an interest in, such as trains and computers. I also believe you have to adopt a youthful mindset if you are to be successful in raising your grandchildren. The old person’s mindset just won’t cut it.”

He continues: “We also try to practice something we learned years ago while working with Josh McDowell Ministries. Beth and I have heard Josh say this many times. ‘Rules without relationships lead to rebellion.’ I would say that’s one of the most important things for grandparents to remember when raising grandsons and granddaughters. You will have to have some rules but make building relationships with them your priority.”

Beth added, “Another thing I remember hearing Josh say many times is, you spell L-O-V-E with the letters T-I-M-E. The very act of devoting significant time to them helps them know you genuinely care.”

“I’ve been teaching the boys about one of my main day-to-day activities. As a result, both of them are learning a lot about the kitchen. They have been learning to help me cook, and our youngest especially loves it. I’ve been teaching him to make brownies, and the last time I let him carry out the entire process, including measuring out each of the ingredients, even though I was with him every step of the way.”

For Rodney and Beth Love, the challenge of doubling the size of their family and taking on the task of raising two young grandsons hasn’t always been easy. But because of their intense love for their grandsons, and their commitment to using Biblical principles to carry out their parenting tasks, they are having a significant impact on two young men they are committed to raising in “the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

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Don Hawkins, D. Min. is the Senior Content Officer for the Master Life Coach Training Institute and the President/CEO of Encouragement Communications. He hosts the Saturday evening call-in program “Encouragement Live” and the weekly “Encouragement for You” podcast. Don has authored over 25 books including Master Discipleship Today, Friends in Deed, Leadership Under Fire,and Never Give Up.