Posted on September 2, 2024

By Don Hawkins, D. Min.

“Thanks for taking the time to get together again on short notice,” Calvin greeted his friend Bob warmly as the two men settled into a booth at their favorite diner. “As I told you in my email last week, I’ve signed up for the GrandCoaching™ course, and my wife and I have both been working our way through it. I’m not sure I understand everything we’re going through, but I was especially glad to see how your course connects with the Great Commission.”

After the waitress took their order, Bob responded to Calvin’s observation. “I think that may be the most important element in our course. We pulled that material from the book a colleague of mine wrote, Master Discipleship Today. It’s based on John 17, the prayer Jesus prayed within earshot of his disciples all the way to the Garden of Gethsemane the night before he was crucified. The author shows how, in that prayer, the Lord revealed to his disciples the specific steps He took in discipling the of them—from setting an example and sharing the Gospel to encouraging and instructing the twelve before sending them out to make disciples of others.”

Twenty-First Century Tool

“Yes, and I especially like the part about how the Lord encouraged his men as a part of the discipling process. In the GrandCoaching™ course, that’s one of the major emphases. And I like the definition you guys have come up with for Life Coaching - a 21st-Century tool for carrying out the First Century mandate.”

“Calvin, I think that’s one of the most important distinctives we point out in our coaching courses, including GrandCoachingTM. We don’t think it’s accurate to call life coaching discipleship. But the tools and strategies we develop in the coaching course certainly provide a useful means for carrying out discipleship. And I’m sure you agree with me that, as grandparents, we want to see that our grandsons and granddaughters are discipled.”

“That reminds me of a saying I used to hear frequently from my former boss. He would often remind us, ‘The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.’”

Calvin paused to take a sip from his coffee, then continued, “Once Katie and I complete the course, I think we’ll be ready to set up a schedule to begin the process with our grandchildren. And I suspect, if we run into a snag along the way, I know just the person we can turn to for expert coaching assistance.”

Smiling, Bob replied, “I think we can arrange that, if needed. But I have a feeling that, taking the years of your high school football coaching know-how, coupled with Katie’s teaching experience, the two of you will be more than ready to begin the process.”

The Master’s Questions

After the waitress delivered their lunch orders, Calvin resumed the conversation. “I’d like your take on the section about asking cultivating questions. I understand what you mean by the process of cultivation-- I spent enough years working dad’s farm to get that picture. But, like I told Katie, I’m not sure when I am in the middle of a conversation with grandchildren that I could come up with the kind of questions that would open their hearts and minds. And I do get it, that’s the point of the questioning process.”

Reaching into his small leather briefcase, Bob removed a sheet of paper. “I just happened to have a list of several questions Jesus asked those around Him. I’m pretty sure we touched on these in one of the videos in the course. But why don’t we run through those briefly, and see if they give you any ideas.”

“You’re right about the video, Bob,” Calvin replied. “But one of Kate’s favorite sayings about education is to remind me-- and almost everyone else-- about the three laws of learning.”

“And they are?” Bob asked as Calvin paused dramatically, then continued.

“Law Number One: Repetition.”

“Makes sense Calvin.”

“Law Number Two: Repetition.”

Again Calvin paused, then continued. “Bet I don’t have to tell you what Number Three is!”

“I think I can figure it out, “ Bob responded. “Now, the first question Jesus asked that is relevant to the coaching process is found in Luke 10:26. One of the religious leaders, attempting to trip Jesus up, asked Him, ‘Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?’

“Countering the teacher’s question with one of His own, Jesus replied, ‘What is written in the law? How do you read it?’

“Now this religious leader was asking one of the most important questions anyone could ask. But the way he phrased the question implied there was some element of works that had to be carried out in order to earn eternal life.”

“Now, isn’t this where the man answered with the two great commandments that are also found in Mark 12, to love God with all your heart and your neighbor as yourself?”

“You are spot on, Calvin,” Bob replied. “And I suspect you recall what came next in that dialog. After Jesus responded by affirming his correct answer, the leader followed up by asking who should be considered his neighbor.

“That’s when Jesus presented the parable of the good Samaritan. He totally knocked the props out of the religious leaders’ assumption that you can earn eternal life by good works. But he opened the door by asking a pointed question—what does the Scripture say?”

“I suspect you’re going to tell me that this is a good question to ask our grandchildren,” Calvin said.

“In fact, I’ve used it many times over the years in my life coaching, and I’ve used it with my grandchildren as well,” Bob replied. “By asking, you force them to think about what they may have read in the Bible, and if they recall a passage that speaks to their question, how it provides an answer. And did you know that ten percent of the words of Jesus recorded in the Gospels are actually direct word-for-word quotes taken from Old Testament passages?”

Countering a Challenge

“One thing that has always bothered me, especially in coaching, is when someone asks a question that challenges my authority. Maybe it’s my insecurity. Would you have anything from your list that might help with that?”

Bob smiled and nodded. “As a matter of fact I do, Calvin. In Matthew 21 Jesus entered the temple court and began teaching those gathered there. The religious leaders -- the chief priests and elders -- challenged him by asking, ‘By what authority are you doing these things?’

“He countered their question with one of his own, which stopped them in their tracks.

“’ I will also ask you one question. If you answer me, I will tell you by what authority I do these things. The baptism of John, where did it come from? Was it from heaven, or from men?’”

“Wow,” Calvin exclaimed. “I bet they didn’t want to answer that one. If they said it was from heaven, He would follow up by asking why they didn’t believe him. But if they said it was from men, all those people, most of whom had believed John to be a prophet from God, would turn on them. He sure put them on the horns of a dilemma.”

“The point is,” Bob noted, “asking the right questions challenges the person to think about what you are telling them, and often opens the door to their responding positively to the truth. And if it doesn’t, which seems to be the case in both of these examples, it still leaves them with significant food for thought. One more truth to remember. With time and practice, it gets easier to talk with your grandchildren.”

Additional Questions Asked by Jesus

“I believe you have a list of some of the additional questions Jesus asked, right?” Calvin asked as the waitress brought their check.

“Let me run through it with you,” Bob replied. “And I’ll let you take this copy. I can print out another one.”

“I titled this, Seven Key Questions Jesus asked, with References.

· What does the Scripture say? Luke 10:26

· ‘What do you think?’ Matthew 21:28

· ‘What do you want me to do for you?’ Mark 10:36

· If even the smallest things are beyond your control, why are you anxious about the rest? Luke 12:26

· ‘Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye, and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?’ Matthew 7:2

· ’So if you have not been trustworthy with worldly riches, who will trust you with true riches?’ Luke 16:11

· And the most important one in my list, ‘Who do you say that I am?’ Matthew 16:15

“That’s great,” Calvin commented as they prepared to leave. “Kate and I will go over those this evening and look for ways to implement them when we begin the coaching process with our grandchildren. I sure appreciate all your help.”

*****

Don Hawkins, D. Min. is the Chief Content Officer for the Master Life Coach Training Institute and the President/CEO of Encouragement Communications. He hosts the Saturday evening call-in program “Encouragement Live,” and has authored over 25 books including Master Discipleship Today, Friends in Deed, and Never Give Up.